:: StoryTitle
The Sadness of Rocky Barbato


:: StoryAuthor
PaperBlurt


:: INLINE CSS [script]
String.prototype.unDash = function()
{
	var s = this.split("-");
	if(s.length > 1)
		for(var t=1; t < s.length; t++)
			s[t] = s[t].substr(0,1).toUpperCase() + s[t].substr(1);
	return s.join("");
};



:: CSS [script]
(function(){ var render2 = Passage.prototype.render; Passage.prototype.render = function () { var b = render2.call(this); var t = this.tags.join(" "); document.body.setAttribute("data-tags", t); b.setAttribute("data-tags",t); return b; }; if(state) { var tgs = state.history[0].passage.tags.join(" "); var fc = $('passages').firstChild; fc.setAttribute("data-tags",tgs); }}());if(state) (function(){ var it = setInterval(function(){ var fd = $('passages').firstChild; if (fd!=fc) { clearInterval(it); fd.setAttribute("data-tags",tgs); } },0); }());


:: TIMER [script]
version.extensions.timedgotoMacro={major:1,minor:1,revision:0};macros["goto"]=macros["timedgoto"]={timer:null,handler:function(a,b,c,d){
function cssTimeUnit(s){if(typeof s=="string"){if(s.slice(-2).toLowerCase()=="ms"){return Number(s.slice(0,-2))||0;
}else{if(s.slice(-1).toLowerCase()=="s"){return Number(s.slice(0,-1))*1000||0;}}}throwError(a,s+" isn't a CSS time unit");
return 0;}var t,d,m,s;t=c[c.length-1];d=d.fullArgs();m=0;if(b!="goto"){d=d.slice(0,d.lastIndexOf(t));
m=cssTimeUnit(t);}d=eval(Wikifier.parse(d));if(d+""){if(this.timer){clearTimeout(this.timer);
}s=state.history[0].passage.title;this.timer=setTimeout(function(){if(state.history[0].passage.title==s){state.display(d,a);
}},m);}}};


:: INSERT MACRO [script]
(function(){version.extensions.replaceMacrosCombined={major:1,minor:1,revision:3};var nullobj={handler:function(){}};function showVer(n,notrans){if(!n){return
}n.innerHTML="";new Wikifier(n,n.tweecode);n.setAttribute("data-enabled","true");n.style.display="inline";n.classList.remove("revision-span-out");
if(!notrans){n.classList.add("revision-span-in");if(n.timeout){clearTimeout(n.timeout)}n.timeout=setTimeout(function(){n.classList.remove("revision-span-in");
n=null},1)}}function hideVer(n,notrans){if(!n){return}n.setAttribute("data-enabled","false");n.classList.remove("revision-span-in");
if(n.timeout){clearTimeout(n.timeout)}if(!notrans){n.classList.add("revision-span-out");n.timeout=setTimeout(function(){if(n.getAttribute("data-enabled")=="false"){n.classList.remove("revision-span-out");
n.style.display="none";n.innerHTML=""}n=null},1000)}else{n.style.display="none";n.innerHTML="";n=null}}function tagcontents(b,starttags,desttags,endtags,k){var l=0,c="",tg,a,i;
function tagfound(i,e){for(var j=0;j<e.length;j++){if(a.indexOf("<<"+e[j],i)==i){return e[j]}}}a=b.source.slice(k);for(i=0;
i<a.length;i++){if(tg=tagfound(i,starttags)){l++}else{if((tg=tagfound(i,desttags))&&l==0){b.nextMatch=k+i+tg.length+4;return[c,tg]
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function mkspan(vtype){h=insertElement(m,"span",null,"revision-span "+vtype);h.setAttribute("data-enabled",false);h.style.display="none";
h.tweecode="";return h}if(this.shorthand&&flen){while(f.length>0){vsns.push([f.shift(),(this.flavour=="insert"?"gains":"becomes")])
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}else{if(s.slice(-1).toLowerCase()=="s"){return Number(s.slice(0,-1))*1000||0}}}throwError(g,s+" isn't a CSS time unit");
return 0}var tm=cssTimeUnit(f[0]);setTimeout(function timefn(){var done=!revise("revise",m);if(!done){setTimeout(timefn,tm)
}},tm)}function hoverSetup(m){var fn,noMouseEnter=(document.head.onmouseenter!==null);m.onmouseenter=function(){revise("revise",this)
};m.onmouseleave=function(){revise("revert",this)};if(noMouseEnter){fn=function(n){return function(e){if(!event.relatedTarget||(event.relatedTarget!=this&&!(this.compareDocumentPosition(event.relatedTarget)&Node.DOCUMENT_POSITION_CONTAINED_BY))){this[n]()
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m[evt]=function(){var done=!revise("revise",this);if(done){this[evt]=null}};m=null}function linkSetup(m,g,f){var l=Wikifier.createInternalLink(),p=m.parentNode;
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scrollWindowTo(m)}if(done){this.parentNode.insertBefore(m,this);this.parentNode.removeChild(this)}};l=null}function visitedSetup(m,g,f){var i,done,shv=state.history[0].variables,os="once seen",d=(m.firstChild&&(this.flavour=="insert"?m.firstChild.nextSibling:m.firstChild).tweecode);
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}if(shv[os].hasOwnProperty(d)){shv[os][d]+=1}}}[{name:"insert",flavour:"insert",trigger:"link",setup:linkSetup},{name:"timedinsert",flavour:"insert",trigger:"time",setup:timeSetup},{name:"insertion",flavour:"insert",trigger:"revisemacro",setup:revisionSetup},{name:"later",flavour:"insert",trigger:"visited",setup:visitedSetup},{name:"keyinsert",flavour:"insert",trigger:"key",setup:keySetup},{name:"replace",flavour:"replace",trigger:"link",setup:linkSetup},{name:"timedreplace",flavour:"replace",trigger:"time",setup:timeSetup},{name:"mousereplace",flavour:"replace",trigger:"mouse",setup:mouseSetup},{name:"hoverreplace",flavour:"replace",trigger:"hover",setup:hoverSetup},{name:"revision",flavour:"replace",trigger:"revisemacro",setup:revisionSetup},{name:"keyreplace",flavour:"replace",trigger:"key",setup:keySetup},{name:"timedremove",flavour:"remove",trigger:"time",setup:timeSetup},{name:"mouseremove",flavour:"remove",trigger:"mouse",setup:mouseSetup},{name:"hoverremove",flavour:"remove",trigger:"hover",setup:hoverSetup},{name:"removal",flavour:"remove",trigger:"revisemacro",setup:revisionSetup},{name:"once",flavour:"remove",trigger:"visited",setup:visitedSetup},{name:"keyremove",flavour:"remove",trigger:"key",setup:keySetup},{name:"continue",flavour:"continue",trigger:"link",setup:linkSetup},{name:"timedcontinue",flavour:"continue",trigger:"time",setup:timeSetup},{name:"mousecontinue",flavour:"continue",trigger:"mouse",setup:mouseSetup},{name:"keycontinue",flavour:"continue",trigger:"key",setup:keySetup},{name:"cycle",flavour:"cycle",trigger:"revisemacro",setup:revisionSetup},{name:"mousecycle",flavour:"cycle",trigger:"mouse",setup:mouseSetup},{name:"timedcycle",flavour:"cycle",trigger:"time",setup:timeSetup},{name:"keycycle",flavour:"replace",trigger:"key",setup:keySetup}].forEach(function(e){e.handler=revisionSpanHandler;
e.shorthand=(["link","mouse","hover"].indexOf(e.trigger)>-1);macros[e.name]=e;macros["end"+e.name]=nullobj;begintags.push(e.name);
endtags.push("end"+e.name)});function insideDepartingSpan(elem){var r=elem.parentNode;while(!r.classList.contains("passage")){if(r.classList.contains("revision-span-out")){return true
}r=r.parentNode}}function reviseAll(rt,rname){var rall=document.querySelectorAll(".passage [data-flavour]."+rname),ret=false;
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function doToGainerSpans(n,fn){for(var k=n-1;k>=0;k--){if(rc[k+1].classList.contains("gains")){fn(rc[k],notrans)}else{break
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var donext=(rev?hideVer:showVer);var currfn=function(){if(!(next&&next.classList.contains("gains"))||rnd){docurr(curr,notrans);
doToGainerSpans(ind,docurr,notrans)}};var nextfn=function(){donext(next,notrans);if(rnd){doToGainerSpans(ind2+1,donext,notrans)
}};if(!rev){currfn();nextfn()}else{nextfn();currfn()}return(cyc?true:(rev?(ind>0):(ind2<rcl-1)))}macros.revert=macros.revise=macros.randomise=macros.randomize={handler:function(a,b,c){var l,rev,rname;
function disableLink(l){l.style.display="none"}function enableLink(l){l.style.display="inline"}function updateLink(l){if(l.className.indexOf("random")>-1){enableLink(l);
return}var rall=document.querySelectorAll(".passage [data-flavour]."+rname),cannext,canprev,i,ind,r,fl;for(i=0;i<rall.length;
i++){r=rall[i],fl=r.getAttribute("data-flavour");if(insideDepartingSpan(r)){continue}if(fl=="cycle"){cannext=canprev=true
}else{if(r.firstChild.getAttribute("data-enabled")==!1+""){canprev=true}if(r.lastChild.getAttribute("data-enabled")==!1+""){cannext=true
}}}var can=(l.classList.contains("revert")?canprev:cannext);(can?enableLink:disableLink)(l)}function toggleText(w){w.classList.toggle(rl+"Enabled");
w.classList.toggle(rl+"Disabled");w.style.display=((w.style.display=="none")?"inline":"none")}var rl="reviseLink";if(c.length<2){throwError(a,b+" macro needs 2 parameters");
return}rname=c.shift().replace(" ","_");l=Wikifier.createInternalLink(a,null);l.className="internalLink "+rl+" "+rl+"_"+rname+" "+b;
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var d=insertElement(null,"span",null,rl+((on)?"En":"Dis")+"abled");if(on){h[v]=c[i];l.setAttribute("data-cycle",i)}else{d.style.display="none"
}insertText(d,c[i]);l.appendChild(d)}l.onclick=function(){reviseAll(b,rname);var t=this.childNodes,u=this.getAttribute("data-cycle")-0,m=t.length,n,lall,i;
if((end||out)&&u==m-(end?2:1)){if(end){n=this.removeChild(t[u+1]);n.className=rl+"End";n.style.display="inline";this.parentNode.replaceChild(n,this)
}else{this.parentNode.removeChild(this);return}}else{toggleText(t[u]);u=(u+1)%m;if(v){h[v]=c[u]}toggleText(t[u]);this.setAttribute("data-cycle",u)
}lall=document.getElementsByClassName(rl+"_"+rname);for(i=0;i<lall.length;i++){updateLink(lall[i])}};l=null}};macros.mouserevise=macros.hoverrevise={handler:function(a,b,c,d){var endtags=["end"+b],evt=(window.onmouseenter===null?"onmouseenter":"onmouseover"),t=tagcontents(d,[b],endtags,endtags,d.source.indexOf(">>",d.matchStart)+2);
if(t){var rname=c[0].replace(" ","_"),h=insertElement(a,"span",null,"hoverrevise hoverrevise_"+rname),f=function(){var done=!reviseAll("revise",rname);
if(b!="hoverrevise"&&done){this[evt]=null}};new Wikifier(h,t[0]);if(b=="hoverrevise"){h.onmouseover=f;h.onmouseout=function(){reviseAll("revert",rname)
}}else{h[evt]=f}h=null}}};macros.instantrevise={handler:function(a,b,c,d){reviseAll("revise",c[0].replace(" ","_"))}};macros.endmouserevise=nullobj;
macros.endhoverrevise=nullobj}());


:: STYLE [stylesheet]
@import url(http://fonts.googleapis.com/css?family=Archivo+Narrow);
@import url(http://fonts.googleapis.com/css?family=Concert+One);
@import url(http://fonts.googleapis.com/css?family=Fjalla+One);
@import url(http://fonts.googleapis.com/css?family=Damion);
@import url(http://fonts.googleapis.com/css?family=Rationale);
@import url(http://fonts.googleapis.com/css?family=Dorsa);
@import url(http://fonts.googleapis.com/css?family=Patrick+Hand+SC);
@import url(http://fonts.googleapis.com/css?family=Amatic+SC);
@import url(http://fonts.googleapis.com/css?family=Coda:800);
@import url(http://fonts.googleapis.com/css?family=Metamorphous);
@import url(http://fonts.googleapis.com/css?family=Trade+Winds);
@import url(http://fonts.googleapis.com/css?family=Lobster);

head {
  box-shadow: inset 0px 0px 0em #000;
  width:100%;
  height:100%;
  display:block;
  position:fixed;
}
head * {
  display:none;
}

.revision-span-in {
	opacity: 0;
}
.revision-span:not(.revision-span-out){
	transition: 1.8s; -webkit-transition: 1.8s;
}
.revision-span-out {
	position:absolute;
	opacity: 0;
}

body[data-tags~=TEMPLATE] {
  background-color:#fff;
  margin: 0;
  text-align:center;
  background-image: -webkit-linear-gradient(#B1D0D3, #AAC9CC);
background-image: -moz-linear-gradient(#394240, #D7C7B0);
  background-attachment: fixed;
}

body[data-tags~=fist] {
  background-color:#fff;
  margin: 0;
  text-align:center;
  background-image: -webkit-linear-gradient(#444443, #DDDDD3);
background-image: -moz-linear-gradient(#444443, #DDDDD3);
  background-attachment: fixed;
}

body[data-tags~=gone] {
  background-color:#fff;
  margin: 0;
  text-align:center;
  background-image: -webkit-linear-gradient(#271F27, #C35004);
background-image: -moz-linear-gradient(#271F27, #C35004);
  background-attachment: fixed;
}

body[data-tags~=rectum] {
  background-color:#fff;
  margin: 0;
  text-align:center;
  background-image: -webkit-linear-gradient(#453515, #383228);
background-image: -moz-linear-gradient(#453515, #383228);
  background-attachment: fixed;
}

body[data-tags~=savanna] {
  background-color:#fff;
  margin: 0;
  text-align:center;
  background-image: -webkit-linear-gradient(#204356, #658474);
background-image: -moz-linear-gradient(#204356, #658474);
  background-attachment: fixed;
}

body {
  background-color: #D94A5F;
  margin: 0;
  text-align:center;
}

body[data-tags~=phone]{
  background-color: #0C1D1E;
  margin: 0;
  text-align:center;
}

body[data-tags~=phonetext]{
  background-color: #0C1D1E;
  margin: 0;
  text-align:center;
}

body[data-tags~=movie]{
  background-color: #F0ECC9;
  margin: 0;
  text-align:center;
}

body[data-tags~=GIF]{
  background-color: #413D3D;
  margin: 0;
  text-align:center;
}

body[data-tags~=TITLE]{
  background-color: #13fffb;
  margin: 0;
  text-align:center;
}

body[data-tags~=warning]{
  background-color: #13fffb;
  margin: 0;
  text-align:center;
}

body[data-tags~=warning2]{
  background-color: #DAD6CA;
  margin: 0;
  text-align:center;
}

body[data-tags~=warning3]{
  background-color: #DAD6CA;
  margin: 0;
  text-align:center;
}

body[data-tags~=van]{
  background-color: #0C1426;
  margin: 0;
  text-align:center;
}

body[data-tags~=vankid]{
  background-color: #0C1426;
  margin: 0;
  text-align:center;
}

body[data-tags~=mexico]{
  background-color: #E7B02F;
  margin: 0;
  text-align:center;
}

#passages {
  border-left: 0;
  margin: 0;
  padding: 10;
  line-height:20vh;
}

.passage {
  position:absolute;
  top: 0;  bottom: 0;  left: 0;  right: 0;
  width: 75%;
  height: 70%;
  margin:auto;
  font: 2.4em/1.2em Concert One, "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, sans-serif;
  color: #fff;
  letter-spacing: -0.00em;
  text-align:left;
}

.passage[data-tags~=TITLE] {
  position:absolute;
  top: 0;  bottom: 0;  left: 0;  right: 0;
  width: 70%;
  height: 90%;
  margin:auto;
  font: 3.5em/1.4em Courier, "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, sans-serif;
  color: #2A363B;
  letter-spacing: -0.00em;
  text-align:center;
}

.passage[data-tags~=GIF] {
  position:absolute;
  top: 0;  bottom: 0;  left: 0;  right: 0;
  width: 70%;
  height: 95%;
  margin:auto;
  font: 2.5em/1em Archivo Narrow, "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, sans-serif;
  color: #fff;
  letter-spacing: -0.00em;
  text-align:center;
}

.passage[data-tags~=van] {
  position:absolute;
  top: 0;  bottom: 0;  left: 0;  right: 0;
  width: 70%;
  height: 50%;
  margin:auto;
  font: 2.4em/1em Concert One, "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, sans-serif;
  color: #fff;
  letter-spacing: -0.00em;
  text-align:left;
}

.passage[data-tags~=vankid] {
  position:absolute;
  top: 0;  bottom: 0;  left: 0;  right: 0;
  width: 70%;
  height: 50%;
  margin:auto;
  font: 2.5em/1em Amatic SC, "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, sans-serif;
  color: #fff;
  letter-spacing: -0.00em;
  text-align:center;
}

.passage[data-tags~=phone] {
  position:absolute;
  top: 0;  bottom: 0;  left: 0;  right: 0;
  width: 70%;
  height: 90%;
  margin:auto;
  font: 2.4em/1.4em Patrick Hand SC, "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, sans-serif;
  color: #fff;
  letter-spacing: -0.00em;
  text-align:left;
}

.passage[data-tags~=phonetext] {
  position:absolute;
  top: 0;  bottom: 0;  left: 0;  right: 0;
  width: 70%;
  height: 90%;
  margin:auto;
  font: 2.4em/1.4em Geo, "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, sans-serif;
  color: #fff;
  letter-spacing: -0.00em;
  text-align:center;
}

.passage[data-tags~=fist] {
  position:absolute;
  top: 0;  bottom: 0;  left: 0;  right: 0;
  width: 80%;
  height: 78%;
  margin:auto;
  font: 17em/0.7em Dorsa, "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, sans-serif;
  color: #D00000;
  letter-spacing: -0.00em;
  text-align:center;
}

.passage[data-tags~=gone] {
  position:absolute;
  top: 0;  bottom: 0;  left: 0;  right: 0;
  width: 85%;
  height: 85%;
  margin:auto;
  font: Italic 8em/0.9em Coda, "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, sans-serif;
  color: #E3DEDB;
  letter-spacing: -0.00em;
  text-align:center;
}

.passage[data-tags~=rectum] {
  position:absolute;
  top: 0;  bottom: 0;  left: 0;  right: 0;
  width: 85%;
  height: 85%;
  margin:auto;
  font: 9em/1.1em Trade Winds, "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, sans-serif;
  color: #E3DEDB;
  letter-spacing: -0.00em;
  text-align:center;
}

.passage[data-tags~=mexico] {
  position:absolute;
  top: 0;  bottom: 0;  left: 0;  right: 0;
  width: 80%;
  height: 85%;
  margin:auto;
  font: 4em/1em Damion, "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, sans-serif;
  color: #D00000;
  letter-spacing: -0.00em;
  text-align:center;
}

.passage[data-tags~=movie] {
  position:absolute;
  top: 0;  bottom: 0;  left: 0;  right: 0;
  width: 85%;
  height: 85%;
  margin:auto;
  font: 8em/0.9em Fjalla One, "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, sans-serif;
  color: #E7A216;
  letter-spacing: -0.00em;
  text-align:center;
}

.passage[data-tags~=warning] {
  position:absolute;
  top: 0;  bottom: 0;  left: 0;  right: 0;
  width: 65%;
  height: 40%;
  margin:auto;
  font: 1.8em/1em Courier New, "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, sans-serif;
  color: #000;
  letter-spacing: -0.00em;
  text-align:center;
}

.passage[data-tags~=warning2] {
  position:absolute;
  top: 0;  bottom: 0;  left: 0;  right: 0;
  width: 65%;
  height: 70%;
  margin:auto;
  font: 1.8em/1em Courier New, "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, sans-serif;
  color: #000;
  letter-spacing: -0.00em;
  text-align:center;
}

.passage[data-tags~=savanna] {
  position:absolute;
  top: 0;  bottom: 0;  left: 0;  right: 0;
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  height: 85%;
  margin:auto;
  font: bolder 3em/1em Damion, "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, sans-serif;
  color: #000;
  letter-spacing: -0.00em;
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.passage[data-tags~=warning3] {
  position:absolute;
  top: 0;  bottom: 0;  left: 0;  right: 0;
  width: 65%;
  height: 40%;
  margin:auto;
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  color: #000;
  letter-spacing: -0.00em;
  text-align:center;
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.passage[data-tags~=TEMPLATE] {
  position:absolute;
  top: 0;  bottom: 0;  left: 0;  right: 0;
  width: 70%;
  height: 75%;
  margin:auto;
padding:65px 90px; 
background:#4E44D8;
width:1025px;
border-radius:0px;
  font: 2.8em/1em VT323, "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, sans-serif;
  color: #A396FF;
  letter-spacing: -0.00em;
  text-align:left;
}

.passage[data-tags~=BASIC]
a:link {color:fff !important; text-decoration:none;}
a:hover {color:fff !important; text-decoration:none;}
a:visited {color:fff !important; text-decoration:none;}
a:active {color:fff	 !important; text-decoration:none;}

.passage[data-tags~=BASIC]
a.internalLink:hover, a.externalLink:hover {
  color:blue !important;
  text-decoration: none;
}

.passage[data-tags~=TEMPLATE] 
{
opacity:1 !important;
}

#sidebar {
  display:table;
  position:fixed;
  top: 0; left: 0;
  width:25%;
  height:25%;
}

#restart {
  display:table;
  position:fixed;
  bottom: 0; left: 0;
  width:7%;
  height:2%;
}

#sidebar #title {
  display:none; 
  vertical-align:center;
  text-align:center;
}

#sidebar #title #storyTitle {
  font: 1.6em/1.5em Helvetica, "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, sans-serif;
  letter-spacing: -0.05em;
  color:rgba(0,0,0,0.1);
}

#restart {
  font: 1em/1.5em PressStart2P, "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, sans-serif;
  letter-spacing: -0.00em;
  color:rgba(0,0,0,0.0);
}

#title :not(#storyTitle){
  display:none;
}
#storymenu, #snapback, #share, #credits, #restart, #bookmark {
  display:none;
}
a.internalLink:hover, a.externalLink:hover {
  color:#fff !important;
  text-decoration: none;
}
a.internalLink:nth-child(3n), a.externalLink:nth-child(3n) {
  color: #228DFF;
}
a.internalLink:nth-child(3n+1), a.externalLink:nth-child(3n+1) {
  color: #228DFF;
}
a.internalLink:nth-child(3n+2), a.externalLink:nth-child(3n+2) {
  color: #228DFF	;
}
@media screen and (max-width: 960px) {
  body { font-size: 50%; }
}
@media screen and (max-width: 840px) {
  body { font-size: 40%; }
}
@media screen and (max-width: 720px) {
  body { 
    font-size: 30%;
  }
}

.blink{-webkit-animation: blink 1s linear infinite;
-moz-inimation: blink 1s linear infinite;
-ms-animation: blink 1s linear infinite;
-o-animation: blink 1s linear infinite;
animation: blink 1s linear infinite;
}
@-webkit-keyframes blink{
0% { opacity: 1; }
50% { opacity: 1; }
50.01% { opacity: 0; }
100% { opacity: 0; }
}

@-moz-keyframes blink {
0% {opacity: 1;}
50% {opacity: 1;}
50.01% {opacity: 0;}
100% opacity: 0;}
}
@-o-keyframes blink {
0% {opacity: 1;}
50% {opacity: 1;}
50.01% {opacity: 0;}
100% opacity: 0;}
}
@keyframes blink {
0% {opacity: 1;}
50% {opacity: 1;}
50.01% {opacity: 0;}
100% opacity: 0;}
}


:: EITHER MACRO [script]
window.either = function() { return arguments[~~(Math.random()*arguments.length)];}


:: LINE BREAK CODE [script]
(function(){
var bs = String.fromCharCode(92);
Wikifier.formatters.unshift({
    name: "continuedLine",
    match: bs+bs+"s",
    handler: function(a) {
        a.nextMatch = a.matchStart+3;
    }
});
}());



:: IF MACRO [script]
version.extensions.ifMacros={major:2,minor:0,revision:0};macros["if"]={handler:function(place,macroName,params,parser){
var conditions=[],clauses=[],srcOffset=parser.source.indexOf(">>",parser.matchStart)+2,src=parser.source.slice(srcOffset),endPos=-1,currentCond=parser.fullArgs(),currentClause="",t=0,nesting=0;
for(var i=0;i<src.length;i++){if(src.substr(i,9)=="<<endif>>"){nesting--;if(nesting<0){endPos=srcOffset+i+9;
conditions.push(currentCond);clauses.push(currentClause);break;}}if((src.substr(i,6)=="<<else")&&nesting==0){conditions.push(currentCond);
clauses.push(currentClause);currentClause="";t=src.indexOf(">>",i+6);if(src.substr(i+6,4)==" if "){currentCond=Wikifier.parse(src.slice(i+10,t));
}else{currentCond="true";}i=t+2;}if(src.substr(i,5)=="<<if "){nesting++;}currentClause+=src.charAt(i);
}try{if(endPos!=-1){parser.nextMatch=endPos;for(i=0;i<clauses.length;i++){if(eval(conditions.shift())){new Wikifier(place,clauses[i ].trim());
break;}}}else{throwError(place,"can't find matching endif");}}catch(e){throwError(place,"bad condition: "+e.message);
}}};


:: TITLE [TITLE]
[img[http://corruptreality.files.wordpress.com/2014/04/rocky.png]]


@@font-family:Lobster;[[DISCO!|TV]]@@

@@font-family:courier new;font-size:40%;Made for Ludum Dare 29@@
@@font-size: 45%;Made by [[PaperBlurt|https://twitter.com/paperblurt]] | More stuff at [[www.paperblurt.com|http://www.paperblurt.com]]@@


:: TV [GIF]
[img[http://corruptreality.files.wordpress.com/2014/04/flickeringtv.gif]]

//<<timedinsert 0.8s>>You wake up.<<endtimedinsert>>
<<timedinsert 1.2s>>A flickering TV.<<endtimedinsert>> 
<<timedinsert 1.6s>>What will this day hold?<<endtimedinsert>> 
<<timedinsert 2s>>A buzzing sound.<<endtimedinsert>>
<<timedinsert 2.6s>>You fell asleep...again.<<endtimedinsert>>
<<timedinsert 3s>>Alone...Like other days<<endtimedinsert>>//

<<timedinsert 8s>>[[Now what?|rw1]]<<endtimedinsert>>


:: Start [warning]
//I do not in any way promote pornography, nor do I denounce it.

This game may be considered as NSFW due to references to gender, sex and pornography - but that depends on where you work.

No visually representations of nudity or sex appears in this game.


Works best in Chrome on a regular computer.//



@@font-size:120%;[[ok|TITLE]]@@


:: rw1
You are Rocky Barbato, an ex porn star.
You have had sex with a lot of women.

It was your day job.

Just as many others are plumbers or teachers,
you were an actor that had sex on film.

Some days you thought:

"this is my JOB!"

others:

"THIS is my job?"

But now...you're [[retired|rw2]].


:: rw2
Due to the fact that you are old
you wake up at 06:34 am.

You are now a senior citizen.
Even though you don't consider yourself
to be old in any way.

"Fit mind - fit body" as one says...

[[Leave your ergonomically designed bed|rw3]]


:: rw3
Cold feet hit the cold floor and
create a whole new kind of freezing hell
beyond the one that you currently reside in.

You wake up with:

<<if $kitchen>>
@@color:#2A363B;==Hunger==@@
<<else>>
[[Hunger|kitchen]]
<<endif>>
<<if $shower>>
@@color:#2A363B;==Sweaty balls==@@
<<else>>
[[Sweaty balls|shower]]
<<endif>>
@@color:#2A363B;==Minor heart palpitations==@@
<<if $master>>
@@color:#2A363B;==Morning wood==@@
<<else>>
[[Morning wood|master]]
<<endif>>


One of these four you can't really control.
The other three need to be tended to.


:: kitchen
<<if $master>>
Your stomach is as flaccid as your penis.
Lacking any content, feeling empty.

You approach your fridge and you suddenly
realize that the more success you've gained
the emptier the fridge has been.

With an empty fridge you are too busy
to find the time to cook.

Your fridge is congested with food and beverages.
<<else>>
As a mast without sail you follow the arrow
protruding from your pelvis.

You almost hit your penis with the fridge door as
you open it.

The penis itself withstands the cold
breeze and you take a moment in the kitchen
saluting your gender with a Superman pose just
to feel that you matter (even if you truly now that you don't).
<<endif>>

[[Grab a snack|eat]]

<<set $kitchen = true>>


:: eat
Tuna - low fat
Avocado - good fat
Bell pepper - other good stuff (don't know what really)

Eating as ordered by the good Doctor.







You miss your burgers days...

<<if $master and $shower>>
[[You also miss something else...|call]]
<<else>>
[[What to take care of now?|rw3]]
<<endif>>


:: fist [fist]
@@text-shadow: 0.1em 0.0.2em #222;Schindler's Fist@@

@@font-size:30%;STARRING@@
@@font-size:60%;ROCKY BARBATO. . . . . . . . . . . . . SAVANNA STEELE@@
@@font-family:rationale;font-size:20%;[[...|fist2]]@@
<<set $fist = true>>


:: master
You come to think of Savanna as you slowly
descend your elderly body towards your Lay-Z-Boy.

[[Savanna Steele|savanna]]

She occupies your mind but hasn't really
reminded you of her presence in a while.

[[You and her (only) did three movies together|movies]]

<<set $master = true>>


:: movies [movie]
Chose which one to watch!

@@font-size:40%;[[Schindler's Fist|fist]] | [[Hard-On in 60 Seconds|hardon]] | [[Rectum Ranger Heroes 19|rectum]]@@

[img[http://corruptreality.files.wordpress.com/2014/04/vhs.png]]


:: hardon [gone]
HARD-ON IN
@@font-size:170%;color:#FF240A;60@@
SECONDS

@@font-size:20%;s t a r r i n g@@
@@font-size:50%;//ROCKY BARBATO 
SAVANNA STEELE//@@
@@font-family:rationale;font-size:40%;[[...|hardon2]]@@
<<set $gone = true>>


:: rectum [rectum]
RECTUM RANGER
@@font-size:150%;HEROES 19@@

@@font-family:Metamorphous;font-size:15%;STARRING@@
@@font-family:Metamorphous;font-size:35%;ROCKY BARBATO and SAVANNA STEELE@@
@@font-family:rationale;font-size:30%;[[...|rectum2]]@@
<<set $rectum = true>>


:: shower
<<if $master>>
You feel empty. //Done// one might say.
A few drips from your penis mix with the shampoo and conditioner that already floats about in the cesspool at your feet.

The feet must be the only thing NOT cleaner after a shower.
A lot of DNA could probably be found in this cesspool and you come to think about how many drops you've wasted...
<<else>>
Your morning erection exposes every crevasse that your wrinkled up
body hides within its saggy skin.
Even though you - without noticing it at first - manage to hit the shampoo bottle with your wood, you still appreciate a good cleaning of the penis.

A swift thought flies through your mind where you remember your endeavors with yoga - trying to get more flexible so you could pleasure yourself orally (of course nothing to brag about around friends).
<<endif>>

<<if $master and $kitchen>>
[[You come to think of another...thing|call]]
<<else>>
[[What to take care of now?|rw3]]
<<endif>>

<<set $shower = true>>


:: savanna [savanna]
[img[http://corruptreality.files.wordpress.com/2014/04/savanna2.png]]



[[...|master]]


:: fist2
<<if $shower and $fist>>
A clean dick is the least you can bring to the masturbation table as you re-live this pornographic abomination. It felt weird doing anal in front of a swastika and now when you come to think of it, it feels weird touching yourself while watching yourself having sex dressed as "Fistler"...
<<else>>
Sweaty balls and your spunk drowns the holocaust in shame as you reminisce about, how you, in a drug infused haze, thought it was a good idea to play "Fistler" as the role might provide some real acting.

But you know that the real reason was so you could met Savanna yet again...
<<endif>>

<<if $kitchen and $shower>>
[[Your spunk reminds you of something else...|call]]
<<else>>
[[What to take care of now?|rw3]]
<<endif>>


:: hardon2
<<if $shower and $gone>>
A 60 second frenzy is all that's needed for you to require yet another shower. You pause, and thank your mom for having indoctrinated you when it comes to keeping the plastic on the furniture.

Easy to just wipe it.

You fast forward to a certain scene:
You and Savanna, you play some kind of race driver and Savanna plays your wife just wishing you good luck before the race by having sex with you - don't know if it was acting from her side or if that moment when your eyes met was as real as you remember it...
<<else>>
Smegma is the dick's own dandruff. You are done in less than 60 seconds but you sit there in your own smegma, sperm, sweat and, suddenly, tears that really doesn't surprise you. //Hard-On in 60 Seconds// have always had that affect on you...
There's one scene with you and Savanna (something that WASN'T edited out) where your eyes meet...that was a nice day.
<<endif>>

<<if $kitchen and $shower>>
[[Your spunk reminds you of something else...|call]]
<<else>>
[[What to take care of now?|rw3]]
<<endif>>


:: rectum2
<<if $shower and $rectum>>
Even though you've taken a shower you feel a bit dirty as you watch one of many //Rectum Ranger// movies. The total is up to 34 by now and you starred in 11 of them - as the hero named //The Human Butt plug//!

Not feeling like a hero anymore unfortunately.
Not even like a guy who "saves" rectums.
Well you didn't always "save" rectums in the movies.

It's easy to fake that sort of thing doing it doggy style and filming facial expressions.

It was mere lies.
<<else>>
After filming one scene in //Rectum Rangers// you actually found shit on your penis. You've never showered for that long in your life since then.

And now, as you sit there watching you and Savanna going at it you actually find a ketchup stain on your ball sack and you try to remember when was the last time you ate ketchup?
<<endif>>

<<if $kitchen and $shower>>
[[Your spunk reminds you of something else...|call]]
<<else>>
[[What to take care of now?|rw3]]
<<endif>>


:: call
The morning chores are done...

[[but...|scab]]


:: call2
...even though the life you've lived has given you plenty...

...you seek more from your elderly existence
as you live alone in the now deteriorating castle
you call "home"...

Savanna is out of reach - you had your chance.
But sex isn't all in life!

Instead there might be another way towards salvation...

[[pick up the phone|calls1]]


:: scab [warning2]
for the first time in
your life...something is different
you too had dreams and sought
happiness in life.
but where others found it...you didn't.
even though you lived a crazy,
fucking, funny, fantastic life.
or?

is the dream to fuck, fuck an once again fuck?
is the dream to snort, snort and once again snort?
is the dream to party, party and once again party?

<<timedinsert 15s>>//@@color:red;on your chest you find a scab.
(when did you hurt yourself there?)
you scratch it, first gently but soon
faster and faster - frantically peeling
off the surface.
what is this? what lies beneath it?
is surface everything?
or is content truly king as they say?
what have you been missing?@@//<<endtimedinsert>>

<<timedinsert 30s>>You snap out of it.
blood on your hands...

[[but with a wish|call2]]<<endtimedinsert>>


:: calls1 [phone]
<<timedinsert 0.8s>>@@color:#ECBE13;God: Hello?@@<<endtimedinsert>>
<<timedinsert 1.6s>>Rocky: Yeah hi...it's me<<endtimedinsert>>
<<timedinsert 2.4s>>@@color:#ECBE13;God: Rocky?@@<<endtimedinsert>> <<timedinsert 3.8s>>@@color:#ECBE13;What do you want?@@<<endtimedinsert>>
<<timedinsert 5s>>Rocky: i don't always want stuff when i call you, you know...<<endtimedinsert>><<timedinsert 8s>>how you've been?<<endtimedinsert>>
<<timedinsert 10s>>@@color:#ECBE13;God: i got this rash that's driving me fucking crazy.@@<<endtimedinsert>>
<<timedinsert 11s>>Rocky: Ok, yeah. So...<<endtimedinsert>>
<<timedinsert 14s>>@@color:#ECBE13;God: You __DO__ want something, don't you?@@<<endtimedinsert>>
<<timedinsert 16s>>Rocky: Yeah...<<endtimedinsert>>
<<timedinsert 17s>>@@color:#ECBE13;God: i don't fucking believe it Rocky! i gave you everything: money, women, fame and a moderately big cock! i thought we had a deal!?! And now you want more?!@@<<endtimedinsert>> <<timedinsert 23s>>@@color:#ECBE13;You still owe me for when you got stuck in Germany...remember that one?!@@<<endtimedinsert>>
<<timedinsert 25s>>Rocky: Of course i remember, but this time it's different becau...<<endtimedinsert>>
<<timedinsert 26s>>@@color:#ECBE13;God: NO NO NO!! That's my final answer Rocky! i don't have the energy or the time to do this! i have a fucking galaxy to run.@@<<endtimedinsert>>

<<timedinsert 28s>> *CLICK* <<endtimedinsert>>

<<timedinsert 30s>>[[Well FUCK YOU, i don't believe in you anyway!|calls2]]<<endtimedinsert>>


:: calls2 [phone]
<<if $text>>
@@color:#ECBE13;Satan: Yes?@@
Rocky: Hi i'ts...
@@color:#ECBE13;Satan: Well, well, well. if it isn't the famous Rocky Barbato@@
Rocky: Yes it's me, but how did you know...?
@@color:#ECBE13;Satan: Well GOD [[texted|text]] me@@
<<timedinsert 2s>>Rocky: OK, um, so...how you've been?<<endtimedinsert>>
<<timedinsert 4s>>@@color:#ECBE13;Satan: it's all good, but i guess you seek something more to life? But GOD has promised me ten souls just not to oblige you so i'm afraid i'm not gonna say yes no matter the deal.@@<<endtimedinsert>> <<timedinsert 8s>>
@@color:#ECBE13;And you know i always like a good deal.@@<<endtimedinsert>>
<<timedinsert 12s>>Rocky: i fucking hate GOD man.<<endtimedinsert>>
<<timedinsert 14s>>@@color:#ECBE13;Satan: Yeah he's a major douche.@@<<endtimedinsert>> <<timedinsert 16s>>@@color:#ECBE13;Just for the fun of it... what did you want?@@<<endtimedinsert>>
<<timedinsert 20s>>Rocky: A kid...<<endtimedinsert>>

<<timedinsert 21s>> *CLICK* <<endtimedinsert



<<timedinsert 23s>>[[Plan B|road]]<<endtimedinsert>>
<<else>>
<<timedinsert 0.8s>>@@color:#ECBE13;Satan: Yes?@@<<endtimedinsert>>
<<timedinsert 1.5s>>Rocky: Hi it's...<<endtimedinsert>>
<<timedinsert 2s>>@@color:#ECBE13;Satan: Well, well, well. if it isn't the famous Rocky Barbato@@<<endtimedinsert>>
<<timedinsert 5s>>Rocky: Yes it's me, but how did you know...?<<endtimedinsert>>
<<timedinsert 7.5s>>@@color:#ECBE13;Satan: Well GOD [[texted|text]] me@@<<endtimedinsert>>
<<endif>>


:: text [phonetext]

[img[http://corruptreality.files.wordpress.com/2014/04/phone.gif]]

[[...|calls2]]

<<set $text = true>>


:: road [GIF]
[img[http://corruptreality.files.wordpress.com/2014/04/roadanim_new2.gif]]

//<<timedinsert 0.8s>>An empty road.<<endtimedinsert>>
<<timedinsert 1.2s>>Roaming - on the prowl.<<endtimedinsert>> 
<<timedinsert 1.6s>>A hunt/future in its infancy.<<endtimedinsert>> 
<<timedinsert 2s>>A thump was heard.<<endtimedinsert>>
<<timedinsert 2.6s>>Not a cop in miles.<<endtimedinsert>>
<<timedinsert 3s>>Maybe just let go?<<endtimedinsert>>//

<<timedinsert 8s>>[[Almost there...|mall]]<<endtimedinsert>>


:: aisle [GIF]
[img[http://corruptreality.files.wordpress.com/2014/04/aisle1.gif]]

//<<timedinsert 0.8s>>A new flickering.<<endtimedinsert>>
<<timedinsert 1.2s>>The modern day water hole.<<endtimedinsert>> 
<<timedinsert 1.6s>>May it pass by?<<endtimedinsert>> 
<<timedinsert 2s>>An aisle is an aisle.<<endtimedinsert>>
<<timedinsert 2.6s>>Even security cameras have blind spots.<<endtimedinsert>>
<<timedinsert 3s>>Where to start?<<endtimedinsert>>//

<<timedinsert 8s>>[[Commence...|skulk]]<<endtimedinsert>>


:: mall
You are here now - in the grocery store.
The drive didn't manage to change your mind
about getting a son or daughter.

Why should you walk alone?
Who'll inherit the Barbato name's fortune, glory and respect?


To be fair you'll only grab a child from a parent with more
than one kid - then they'll have one left for solace.

[[Begin to skulk|skulk]]


:: skulk


...in an aisle with cans of corn you spot
a child...the mother is preoccupied with her
grocery list...


[[GRAB THE CHILD!|run]]
[[skulk some more|skulk2]]


:: skulk2


...near the fruits and veggies a dad has lost
himself in his mobile phone...the kid has even wandered
off from the sister who sits in a stroller nearby...


[[GRAB THE CHILD!|run]]
[[skulk some more|skulk3]]


:: skulk3


...a mom and dad argues about what cereal to chose...
one of their three sons have lost interest in their shouting
and is an easy target...


[[GRAB THE CHILD!|run]]
[[skulk some more|skulk4]]


:: skulk4


...in the aisle for pregnancy tests you see a distressed couple...
trying to find the right one, you can only assume that their
daughter sitting alone in the shopping cart is about to get a sibling...


[[GRAB THE CHILD!|run]]
[[skulk some more|puzzle]]


:: run
Nobody thinks it weird or suspicious
as someone passes by with a kid.
Not even if you're an former porn star.

The security guard even nods to you, as if he were to say:

"Good luck with your kidnapping Sir!"



Ohh I will...


[[enter the van|flee]]


:: puzzle

Due to excessive skulking you now feel
a hand on your shoulder...

A security guard has spotted you as you skulked (you idiot you should have just acted casually!) too much and drew attention to yourself.






[[...|jail]]


:: flee [van]
@@font-family:Concert One;Dusk is here.
It soothes the angst.
Heading south towards Mexico...
Not long until a new life
awaits in a new country with a little
heir to tag along.

[[silent contemplation|moan]]@@


:: jail
<<if $irving>>
Irving comes back in the room.
Gives you a look with his evil eye.
Sits back down in his office chair.
Takes a few sips of coffee and returns back
to his security cameras.

But after a while Irving's stomach starts
to protest against the old laxative now
living inside him.

Irving bolts out the room...

[[Sneak away|parking]]
<<else>>You find yourself in an office. The security guard's office.

The security guard is a man called Irving (it says so on his name tag). He feels like a small man that sees himself as a deity
during 9-5 each day and then go home to his sad and quiet
home.

The room is rather spartanly decorated.

A [[desk|desk]]
A [[garbage bin|bin]]
A [[file cabinet|file]]
A [[box of returned items|box]] 
A [[door leading to freedom|door]]

In the middle of the room sits Irving with his back to you as
he monitors his precious security cameras.
<<endif>>


:: door
<<if $toy and $lax>>
[[Open just a CRACK|crack]]
<<else>>
[[Open the door|open]]
<<endif>>


:: desk
You take a look at the desk which contains:

[[A pencil|pencil]]
[[A coffee cup|cup]]
[[An old computer|comp]]
[[A stapler|stapler]]
[[A photo of an old woman|woman]]

[[back|jail]]


:: bin
The garbage bin contain more or less
nothing of value. Just some orange peel,
napkins, nine plastic coffee cups and a
lottery ticket...

[[back|jail]]


:: file
You try, very quietly, to see if you can open it.

But it's locked.

[[back|jail]]



:: box
A brown box stands on the floor right besides you.
The side says: "Returned items".

It contains:

[[A hair brush|brush]]
[[A toy laser sword with sounds|toy]]
[[A pack of diapers|diapers]]
[[A CD with The Andrea True Connection|cd]]
[[A bottle of old laxative|lax]]

[[back|jail]]



:: moan [vankid]



<<timedreplace 2.5s>>"mom?"<<becomes>><<becomes>>"mom?!"<<becomes>><<becomes>>"mommy!?"<<becomes>><<becomes>>"dad?!"<<becomes>><<becomes>>"mooooom!!"<<becomes>>"daaaad!!"<<becomes>><<becomes>>"where's my parents?"<<becomes>><<becomes>>"are you gonna hurt me?"<<becomes>><<becomes>>"I want my mommy..."<<becomes>><<becomes>>(*quiet sobbing*)<<endtimedreplace>>

<<timedgoto "border" 50s>>


:: parking
You escaped!!

On the parking lot you rush towards your vehicle when you 
stumble upon a mom and her two kids...

Nobody watches the kids as their mother packs her van with Tetris-like precision, filling it with food and other items needed in the modern day household!

[[GRAB A KID!|flee]]


:: cup
<<if $noise and $lax>>
[[Pour|pour]] some laxative in the coffee
when Irving is out of the room!
<<else>>
The coffee cup contains steaming
hot coffee with some milk in it...

Maybe adding something more to it?
But Irving has ears like radar.
<<endif>>

[[back|desk]]


:: pour
You pour a lot of laxative
in the coffee cup and sit back down.

[[back|jail]]

<<set $irving = true>>


:: brush
Even if you look good, you
won't escape jail...

[[back|box]]


:: open
You open the door but surprisingly fast,
Irving spins his desk chair around and
just gives you a look that says:

"Don't even try it!"

You slowly close it again and Irving
turns, once again, towards his security cameras...

[[back|jail]]



:: toy
Can this really help you?
You pick it up anyway...

[[back|box]]
<<set $toy = true>>



:: theend [mexico]
[img[http://corruptreality.files.wordpress.com/2014/04/arriba3.gif]]




the end

@@font-size:65%;(welcome to Mexico PABLO el PENE!)@@


:: border
You are here.

All you gotta do is pass the border.
You know you can't go back...
Neither to your life, nor to possible jail time.

You can be PABLO el PENE an live in Tijuana!!

In the back the kid has stopped sobbing.
Exhausted by the trip, just like you.


[[bring the kid|theend2]]
[[let the kid go|theend]]

@@opacity:0.5;<<timedinsert 10s>>//one can learn to adjust and to love.//
//can one also forget and forgive?//
//fuck...//<<endtimedinsert>>@@


:: comp
The computer seems to be from the stone age.
You wonder, for a second, if there's any porn
on it, and if you are in any of it?

[[back|desk]]


:: crack
What now?

[[Use laxative|laxcrack]]
[[Use toy sword|swordcrack]]


:: theend2 [warning3]
//do the right thing Rocky...//






<<timedinsert 4s>>[[LEAVE THE FUCKING KID BEHIND!|theend]]<<endtimedinsert>>
<<timedinsert 5s>>[[NO! THIS IS MY LIFE!|regret]]<<endtimedinsert>>


:: regret [warning2]
<<timedinsert 2s>>you grab the kid.
pass the border.
your elderly body
lacking strength.
hot summer - burning sun.
some years go by.
a kid that grows up.
and you grow down.
hate is brewing.
you know this.
the kid is trapped.
your eyes guard him.
your very tired eyes.
from hawk to bat.
the day of muerte is here.
your muerte day.
a lonely day.
an empty bed.
no kid nor Savanna.
a kid fleeing with
others seeking happiness
in the US.
a happiness you never found...<<endtimedinsert>>


<<timedinsert 10s>>@@opacity: 0.5;//the end//@@<<endtimedinsert>>


:: pencil
The pencil isn't sharp and Irving
have been chewing on it...

[[back|desk]]


:: cd
Maybe you too should have started a
band just like Andrea?

Nothing wrong with Disco, but few have
escaped jail by dancing...

[[back|box]]


:: laxcrack
How's throwing some laxative gonna help you?

[[back|crack]]



:: stapler
The stapler seems busted...

[[back|desk]]


:: diapers
You don't even wanna touch them...

[[back|box]]


:: swordcrack
You quickly press the "ON" button
and throw the sword threw the crack
and plays it casual as Irving walks out of
the room and stands just outside the door
to try to see what the ruckus is all about...

[[back|desk]]

<<set $noise = true>>



:: woman
Just an old picture of Irving's
mom, or sister, or wife, or aunt?

Hard to tell...

[[back|desk]]


:: lax
There's nothing wrong with being regular,
so you pick it up...

[[back|box]]
<<set $lax = true>>